There are habits I have and things I do.
So seamlessly I often don’t even realize I am doing it.
And I bet you do too.
It’s not necessarily bad. Yet, it happens. At a recent visit with my therapist, I was reminded of just how often I do it.
Put. Me. Last.
Be. The. People. Pleaser.
Do you do it?
We all do, to a certain extent. I think it’s just a part of the natural condition of being humans in relationships. And I realize I have a checkered past of doing it to the point of detriment.
Person: What do you want for dinner?
Me: I want Thai.
Person: I don’t want Thai.
Me: Okay, whatever you want is fine…
I end up at a local Mexican eatery or somewhere else. When really, what I wanted was Thai food. This example is not exclusively indicative of my current partner. It is true of any partner, friend, coworker, sibling, or anyone else in my life. It’s happened a million times. And…there’s nothing particularly wrong with individual cases of the above conversation happening. Still, if left unchecked, it can leave you feeling powerless. You find yourself just doing the things to keep the peace and harmony in a relationship.
A recent conversation with my son Daniel prompted me to take serious ACTION. It helps me work on my habit to speak up. I want to make my thoughts and desires known, acted on, and most importantly, validated. I love that we’re taking ACTION together to stop Doing The Things. I’d like to invite you to STOP doing the things too!
We’ve started reading Not Nice, by Dr. Aziz Gazipura, PsyD. It’s an interesting discussion about why we are people pleasers and where it comes from. Most importantly, it addresses how to break the cycle to become more authentic to ourselves. We become more empowered to act on our wants and needs, speaking up, saying NO, and unapologetically being yourself.
Now don’t get me wrong… I don’t think I’m always the “nice girl.” I’m not. Nonetheless, I definitely see patterns in my life. These patterns show behaviors where I totally get sucked down the people pleasing rabbit hole. When it’s unchecked, it leaves me feeling icky, resentful, victimized, and just gross.
I’ll continue posting about our journey into being Not Nice. I hope you’ll think about how being Not Nice can make you stronger. It will help you become the happier person you’d like to be in 2025.
Here’s a quick link to Dr. Aziz’s book and website, feel free to pick it up and join us!! #Intention #Blazing2025 #NotNiceBook
One Little Word...2025 