Fighting Fair…

So this week, well, it’s been a week.  There’s stress in the house a lot of stress.  Work stress, life stress, adoption stress, marriage stress.  With the stress comes the “fight.”  Not a throwing punches kind of fight, but suffice to say not fighting fair.  I’m sure this is a part of every relationship, though I spent quite a bit of time examining other relationships from my perspective.  And isn’t it funny how when we look at the relationship of someone else it just seems to be tidy and ifightn check?  Especially in the moments when we’re not fighting fair.  So here’s the thing.  I know there are tons of crazy, irritating, irrational, out of control moments in life.  In my life as me, my life as a wife, mother, mentor, friend, the list goes on.  What I learned in this week, is that while we choose to continue the adoption journey, I have lots of praying that needs to happen.  Lots of learning yet to do.  Patience, lots of patience — patience that is quite possibly my Achilles Heel. Counseling.  Who ever said we have to know it all?  Ahh… and fighting fair, because here’s another truth to consider.  The child, the children yet to be ours may not have had an example of what fighting fair looks like.  It’s pretty likely they don’t.   Fighting fair doesn’t just occur in the context of a marriage… it happens everywhere, with our children, coworkers, friends, other family conflict is as much a part of the human condition as breathing it just happens.  So my intention (throw back to last year’s One Little Word) is to actively engage learning how to fight fair.

Here’s a great link to a great article… some of these things I am and have been super guilty of.  Some, are just good ideas, like don’t be afraid to go to bed mad.  Have a moment, grab a coffee, and consider the ideas, not simply in the context of your marriage, but in other areas of your life.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/janet-blair-page/want-love-not-war-fight-f_b_4324203.html

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