Idioms. They’re everywhere. It’s always darkest before the dawn. Every cloud has a silver lining. That which does not kill you will make you stronger. I’d like to add another today. Brightness can be found in the dark. I’ve been in the midst of a difficult season in my life. In fact, this past week I’ve written about God not giving me more than I can handle and how I think that’s the biggest lie ever. I’ve called out to Him in what seems to be every moment over the past few weeks.
I don’t have cancer. Great news. I’ve had ultrasounds, blood work, biopsy, MRI and none of it has found anything. That’s great, though unsettling that there was still something in my physical that my doctor wasn’t good with. But it’s okay, and we’ll work through it as the days, weeks, months, and years go by.
There has been family dynamics things that happen that have caught me utterly by surprise, left me shaken, scared. Things that maybe I’ve known yet never acknowledged. Disappointments in places where I’m not at all surprised and disappointment where I never thought it would live.
Tonight at dinner, I asked my young man what the highlight of his week was. In typical teenage fashion — no great stellar answer, acing a test, a successful assignment. Nothing remarkable. For me, the brightest moments of the week happened in the darkest of spaces. In that space, I’ve been given the gift to look at my life, re-prioritize the things that really matter. I am given a finite number of days, and what I choose to do with them are mine…for the most part anyhow.
Here’s what I know. There is nothing that means more to me than this. A God that is so mighty that he has a plan for me, allows me the moments to rise to the occasion. A husband that has my back, really has my back. A son that I love more than any other human on the planet, truly. And for what it’s worth, an amazing ex-husband and wing mom that I know are there for our son, it’s an amazing thing to have the support of a tribe.
In this darkness, there is light, look for it, it’s always there.