There Are Things That Lip Gloss Won’t Fix…

I’m sorry.  I’m sad to say so… but there are things that lip gloss won’t fix.  Ever. We are in day two of Sandy’s end-of-life journey.  She’s a fighter.  It’s one of the things when I reflect drove me crazy — she’s a fighter.  She looks more peaceful than I think I’ve ever seen her.

But… Eric still hurts.  There are probably one million things, at least, that we wish we would have done, would have done differently or would have done longer.  One more Coke at Chili’s?  One more movie at Chez?  Sure.  But there are things, that lip gloss just won’t fix.  It won’t add time to the clock, nor will it turn back the time.    Lip gloss, and I have tons, won’t take away the incredible pain that Eric is feeling.

It’s moment to moment, breath to breath and the most important thing is not the gloss… it’s being here. For Eric, for Sandy.

Sandy story… Eric and I got married in May, five years ago.  And Sandy just wasn’t sure that she wanted to go… it’ wasn’t horribly high on the priority list.  Last minute phone ring and Sandy wants to go.  Big. Win.sandy-at-wedding

Here’s where it gets funny… at our reception we had center pieces that contained a photo of Eric, a photo of Liz (that’s me), and a photo of us in addition to some beautifully crafted truffles.  Sandy strolled from table to table “lifting” the photos of Eric, the beautiful truffles… leaving me just behind.  In the days that followed Sandy and I were able to take some turns.  Each turn brought us a step closer and then another.  Maybe, it was the lip gloss?

Sanwedding-trufflesdy and I were recently able to spend some time Christmas shopping for Eric and Daniel (he’s my young man).  I was particularly touched that Sandy wanted to get Daniel a gift and of course some new shirts for Eric.  We were blessed with a beautiful day in the middle of December, we started with lunch at Chili’s and shrimp salad and chips and the best guac ever and followed with a Target shopping jaunt…Sandy likes to shop.  And we left with some new blouses and sweaters, some charming sweet gifts Alfred Hitchcock and Ugly Christmas Sweater Mugs…. we sent holiday cards and had Starbucks.

And so this morning, after sporadic sleep, I woke up, brushed my teeth, washed my face and applied lip gloss.


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