Get Through In Going Through.

Today is Thursday, day three in paradise. And for the most part, things have been pretty glorious. I have spent my mornings on the beach an have decided I can literally stay there for hours contemplating. Contemplating the beauty of the sunrise every single morning, how the waves crash into the shore in perfect time, every time, how the hermit crabs just seem to do their thing without being told what to do.

And then there’s me.

Learning what to do with myself is a lot of work. Yesterday, it was trying a Loco Moco, enjoying Bloody Marys and Bourbon. It was daring to take an island helicopter tour…. that one for two reasons, first, I’m not a natural thrill seeker. It doesn’t come easily to me. Things that are death defying are usually not where you’ll typically find me. And second… I have a very toxic almost relationship with money and the decision to part with $300 for an hour of flight time, well, that takes work. That ride was $5.00 a minute, so it took some work to get on board with that. And… it was worth every. single. dollar.

Then there was some pool time, some meet Sheritta in the bar time, and the music last night was on point. Honestly. So Sheritta and I became instant groupies, and after the performance at Shutters, the hotel bar, we took to our room, dolled up right quick and went to Rob’s a local dive joint to watch show two.

On the topic of thrill seeking…

The road trip to Rob’s qualifies. You see everything in Kauai closes early. It’s a quirky little place. A tropical Mayberry, where people go home to family, live on island time, their time, All. The. Time. So we got our Lyft and made it to Rob’s… Old Fashions, parmesan fries, and more great music. Kawei… the singer with the beautiful face, beautiful voice, and beautiful soul is in the midst of her own heartbreak and it showed up at Rob’s. I’m not sure if I can call it a God shot or not, but there was comfort in being in a common place of heartbreak with another soul. Knowing that the only thing you can do is provide a hug and comfort. What a gift to be in that place at that time for that soul. And then there’s getting back to the hotel at 10:00 Kauai time… Mayberry time. On our way out, we met a couple of gentlemen that were pretty darn sure that our Lyft wasn’t gonna happen. Handsome gentlemen, and I have no doubt they would have stuck around to be sure we weren’t stranded. And so we got back to the room… It was completely out of my comfort zone. I blame my Virgo… maybe it’s her, but maybe it’s been years of having to play it safe, for a million reasons.

Today Sarah gets married. The weather is perfect, and it’s my hope that holds out just that way… I spent this morning at the beach, contemplative time. Still shedding tears. And today I wonder if they are really over the loss of the relationship or the realization that I am in a period of aloneness. I tell myself the latter, and actually believe my heart is catching up there.

Tomorrow. Day four in paradise… Sheritta has a coffee tour planned, I have a date with sunrise, the waves, and the hermit crabs. We also have a date with the spa at 2:15 for massage time. There’s something to revel in with self care. After that, maybe I’ll read, maybe I’ll walk the beach, maybe I’ll nap…

The thing is… I get to decide whatever it is that’s right for me in that moment, and I’ll decide when I get there. Until then, I’m thinking about how to author the next chapter of this journey of mine. There are some amazing things in the pages we’ll be turning. Setting up home in Arizona, a trip to the National Apartment Association Trade Show and Conference in San Diego. Connecting with a certain chef and kicking it around for a day or two. Another trip or two to AZ before move time…and really whatever else I decide and feels like makes sense to me.

#AlohaMotherFuckers. #TropicalMayberry