All You Have To Do Is Ask…

Posted on March 8, 2015 by lizzyc1973

Sometimes I find myself disappointed in humanity.  Our way of “being” sometimes is so self-centered and well…self-centered.  I do a lot of volunteer type things.  I mentor with Colorado Youth at Risk, I’ve been pretty active in trying to lift my alma mater’s alumni association off the ground with some amazing cohorts. I guess it’s my wiring.  And I get it,  it’s not for everyone.  And I also get that sometimes MY judgements are because I haven’t taken enough steps.  If you want help, all you have to do is ask.

Here’s why I’ve come to this conclusion.  Aurora Central High School is a school in distress for lack of better word.  There are amazing things that happen there, though publicity would indicate otherwise.  But here are some truths about Aurora Central.  It’s location is not meticulously planned in the middle of middle-income America at least not any longer.  Aurora Central lies in North Aurora, where there is a fairly high population of people who work multiple and low-income jobs, simply to make ends meet, and often, those ends… well, they don’t meet.

75% of our student population is on free or reduced lunch. Most of our students are minority in status.  The truth, they are on an uphill journey to make it.  I think that drives my will to help.

Prom Sale 2015

My guest room is over run with dresses…and I LoVe it!

So the Junior Class is planning their prom.  And I think to my time there and the excitement of dresses, and accessories, and all of the fit and finish that young women dream of with prom. It’s “princess” night.  Imagine now,  you can’t participate in “princess” night.  Your family has to make a choice, a choice between rent and prom apparel.  Which wins?  If it were my choice to make, rent just won.

So I’ve taken another step and have decided hosting a low-cost prom sale at Aurora Central has the possibility to be a difference maker for the lives of young women. And so I’ve asked my fellow alum in our Facebook community as well as my Colorado Youth at Risk community if they had dresses to donate, their own, their daughters… And I’m touched. When I think about the response I’ve received for my simple request, I’m moved.  We’re in excess of 75 dresses with a week left to collect. Women I know, women I don’t… and it’s such an amazing gift.  So when you think people just don’t care, I’d encourage you to take one step more, I believe people naturally want to be of service to another, it’s our humanity.  All you have to do is ask.

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HE Puts Things In Your Lap…

Posted on March 6, 2015 by lizzyc1973

Okay, so today is one of those days where I just have to scratch my head and think to myself, “Why did HE put me right HERE right NOW.”  Have you ever had one of those days?  I am absolutely convinced that he puts things in your lap.  It happened to me. Today.

Something new you may or may not know about me.  I am committed to my alma mater, Aurora Central High School.  ACHSLike one of those booster parents gone wild.  I love Aurora Central so much, I think  because it’s the only school I was able to start and finish at — a continuum in my life.  So I’m there a lot.  Whether it’s because I am working on the Future Fair, prom dress sale, alumni meeting, sporting event, or simply hanging out with the young people.  I’m there. I was there today, for a purpose totally different than what I think I’ve ended up with.

Today I made a connection with a young person, because we’re both Trojans and because we’re on a similar walk — though from vastly different perspectives.  Here’s what I think, HE put this in my lap — what comes of it, maybe the moon, and maybe just being connected to this person to be there.  Here’s what I know.  I am following the path that’s been laid before me.  I’m not sure where it twists, turns, or forks, I know it will, the path, and I will trust in him. HE won’t put anything in my path that with HIM I can’t do.

There’s just so much more I want to say, about connection, about how paths seem to intertwine, about my faith in a GOD that is so big, about what you see when you stop and look in to the eyes of a young person, the stories often told, without saying a single word.

Pray, or send great vibes, or meditate…for the next step in journey which at every turn surprises me.

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Get a Job!

Posted on February 28, 2015 by lizzyc1973

Oh my… words you simply don’t expect to hear at the vet.  “Liz, here’s what I think, Onyx needs to get a job.” Not the words I had expected or even hoped to hear.  Onyx Q. Wiler is one of two family dogs.  He’s a Shar pei Lab mix and at three years old, well, he’s still a handful.  A big one.  IMG_0556

He came to our home at about a year old, a rescue from the DDFL (Denver Dumb Friends League).  I wasn’t in the market for a dog, in fact, we had just put down my mother-in-laws chow, Molly.  So secretly, or maybe not so secretly in the recesses of my mind I was rejoicing in being one step closer to being pet free.  And then there’s Onyx.  So we went outdoors and met him, and really, it’s pretty impossible to NOT love him.  He’s smart, he’s super cute, and super happy.  Now here’s what I know about Labs… they’re like a toddler in a dog’s body.  Keep up if  you dare.   We did all the right things. Sent him to training, and when he returned from Colorado Cell Dogs, we actually did a decent job of keeping up on the training. Like all things, life happens.  We fall out of our good habits, we pick up new bad ones too.  This is true of people and it is also true of Onyx. Q. Wiler.

Lately, for about the past month he’s trained me to give in to his whim of getting up in the wee hours when I should be getting my much needed beauty rest.  Graciously, I accommodate, waking up, releasing him from his crate, letting him outside for a little break and then he and I retire to the couch so I can get my last three or four hours of sleep.  It’s a bad and broken system.  So this morning on our trip to the vet for the vaccinations my amazing vet and I have the conversation about what’s keeping me up at night.  So it’s high time that Onyx gets a job, me too.  So we’ll be working on getting back to the good old days, playing hide and seek, training to stay until called for and, I’ve full_2405_main_001been looking in to puppy puzzles to keep my four legged friend mentally stimulated whilst his pack is at work to bring home the bacon.  We’re also going to get back into the much needed routine of walking (My goal is at least every other day) and hopefully that gets us back to running, I know it won’t hurt him and it will definitely do me some good.  Of course there’s doggy day care and day training to consider, but before I jump into the extreme finance of that, we’ll work Plan A for a bit…  Wish me luck, and Onyx too we’re getting a job!

http://www.doggamespuzzletoys.com/index.html

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Permission To Be Frank 

Posted on February 25, 2015 by lizzyc1973

From a fellow blogger, adoptive mommy, and all around great friend. Adoption straight talk. Pay attention to #1 and #6. Thanks Noell!

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Fighting Fair…

Posted on February 19, 2015 by lizzyc1973

So this week, well, it’s been a week.  There’s stress in the house a lot of stress.  Work stress, life stress, adoption stress, marriage stress.  With the stress comes the “fight.”  Not a throwing punches kind of fight, but suffice to say not fighting fair.  I’m sure this is a part of every relationship, though I spent quite a bit of time examining other relationships from my perspective.  And isn’t it funny how when we look at the relationship of someone else it just seems to be tidy and ifightn check?  Especially in the moments when we’re not fighting fair.  So here’s the thing.  I know there are tons of crazy, irritating, irrational, out of control moments in life.  In my life as me, my life as a wife, mother, mentor, friend, the list goes on.  What I learned in this week, is that while we choose to continue the adoption journey, I have lots of praying that needs to happen.  Lots of learning yet to do.  Patience, lots of patience — patience that is quite possibly my Achilles Heel. Counseling.  Who ever said we have to know it all?  Ahh… and fighting fair, because here’s another truth to consider.  The child, the children yet to be ours may not have had an example of what fighting fair looks like.  It’s pretty likely they don’t.   Fighting fair doesn’t just occur in the context of a marriage… it happens everywhere, with our children, coworkers, friends, other family conflict is as much a part of the human condition as breathing it just happens.  So my intention (throw back to last year’s One Little Word) is to actively engage learning how to fight fair.

Here’s a great link to a great article… some of these things I am and have been super guilty of.  Some, are just good ideas, like don’t be afraid to go to bed mad.  Have a moment, grab a coffee, and consider the ideas, not simply in the context of your marriage, but in other areas of your life.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/janet-blair-page/want-love-not-war-fight-f_b_4324203.html

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A Day for Love…

Posted on February 13, 2015 by lizzyc1973

So here it is… the day before St. Valentine’s Day.  A Day for Love… I’ll be honest and say that my inspiration for this comes from my great friend and coworker Jeri and my mentee Dominique.  It created the space to have me thinking about all of the people that I love.  Of course, the list includes my husband Eric who is without doubt my biggest supporter and cheerleader in the things I find myself up to.  Daniel, my young man who has been one of the biggest joys in my life, watching him become a person that I hope will find his way in a crdo-you-love-me_personalityhackerazy world and learn that he too, has a gift, a capacity to be a source of change — no matter how small.  My parents and family even in the times where they drive me crazy, frustrate and outright have the ability to anger me.  I love these people.

Dominique and I had dinner last night and were talking about the time left before she graduates… and then she starts singing.  She’s singing “I Won’t Give Up” by Jason Mraz. And she say’s it reminds her of us, not in a romantic  way…but it speaks to her about our relationship.

I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up

And she’s right.  I love this young woman too.  Looking to find her place in the world, confront her fears and doubts, hoping for success and wondering where she’ll make a difference.  I thoughtFR-12x12-SA.ST8886 Tan John 3-16 more about these lyrics and I have to say I believe Jason Mraz to be an incredible wordsmith and a speaker of truth. Because these lyrics remind me of one of my greatest loves too… the love of a man the love a God so big that he sent his only son to die what was a horrible undeserved death so that I can be forgiven of the sins and wrongs of my life, Jesus. (John 3:16)  There perhaps is the most amazing expression of love ever to be found. EVER.  I know I’ve said that I’d die for my son… my husband… my family, but here is a picture of a man who not only said those words, but carried out that promise.  That’s pretty big.  And so on this Valentine’s weekend, take a listen to this beautiful piece of music, think about your loves and remember that it isn’t measured in a box of chocolates, a sparkly new bauble, or a beautiful arrangement of flowers.  It’s about demonstrating the same commitment that a mighty Savior made, for me…. and for you too.

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Finding Forgiveness…

Posted on February 4, 2015 by lizzyc1973

Today is a sad day.

Jordan has confirmed the death of pilot Moaz al-Kasasbeh after a video published online by Islamic State (IS) claimed to show him being burned alive.image

This is one of hundreds of headlines that are shaking the news today.  A man, a young man not so much older than my son held captive was burned alive.  It alarmed me in ways that I just can’t quite get my head around.  And then while scrolling my Facebook feed, I found a YouTube video that speaks to Finding Forgiveness.

I watch the countless stories on television, one assassination after another, and I fear that we become numb to what’s happening on the T.V. Right in front of our eyes.  After all, it’s not like September 11, 2001.  It’s not in our sandbox.  But isn’t it?  I have all of the qualities that make me human DNA, a mother, a father, a family, friends, As did Daniel Pearl, James Foley,  Steven Sotloff, the journalistic teams in France, the Japanese men recently murdered and then young Moaz al-Kasabeh.  Killed for a differing idea. We’re losing ourselves — right at the hinge.  And then there was the Facebook feed.  Forgiving ISIS.  Hold up right?  We’ve been done such wrong, such atrocity — we’ve witnessed horror enough to last a lifetime.  Forgive ISIS.

I’m a believer in Jesus, a very imperfect believer but a believer just the same.  I wonder daily, how I can be forgiven my sins, how I’ll ever measure up, how can I be forgiven of my transgressions?  Sometimes, I’m mean, and sometimes… it’s on purpose.  Welcome to the human condition and welcome the gift of grace.  Grace is not giving me what I deserve and in place giving me something that I don’t deserve, something so much better.  Forgiveness. And so that takes us back to Forgiving ISIS.  I’ll be honest, I think I am still much too shocked right now for that — much too alarmed, and the truth, I’m not sure that I’ll get there.  I’ll pray for understanding, I’ll pray for the families that are hurting for the violence they’ve endured. I’ll probably watch this video another time, two, ten…because there is something in it that is so powerful.  I am left in absolute awe that it can be boiled down… so simply.

“We have to forgive. If not, then the pain and the hate will close the way to the grace of God.”

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Puppy shopping…

Posted on January 29, 2015 by lizzyc1973

Puppy Shopping  is so much fun. In fact, it’s one of my guilty pleasures. I almost can’t help myself.  I know, I know.  Puppy mills are bad. I get it.  But puppies are cute.  They just are.  Eric and I have also been know to while away many a fine day at the Denver Dumb Friends League looking at all of the cute dogs (and puppies) all waiting to find homes.  And let me tell you there are tons. Seriously tons.

So we’re walking our adoption walk, and I can’t help but to find the ways that I find it similar to puppies.  And… I find myself a little shocked, and maybe a little disappointed, maybe a little grateful too. Let me tell you3 little puppies-635641_1080 why.  There are some great resources out there for adoptive parents in waiting. For the adoptive mom and dad there isn’t a growing belly, there aren’t monthly visits to the doctors office, at least not in flexible family adoption. There isn’t necessarily the excitement of a baby shower or baby’s first kick. It’s just a different picture.  So the question for the flexible family is… how is the excitement sustained.  Where do we get the will for our next step? And then the next?

This is what it looks like.

PAPERWORK. There’s tons of it.  Applications, family history, coursework and classes to take, CPR, interviews — together, and individually, it seems, daunting.  So where’s the happy? Oh yeah, puppies.  So with the give or take 500,000 children that are currently in the foster care system there are resources like The Adoption Exchange and they have “Heart Galleries” and there are other resources also and on these web pages and there are pages and pages and pages, there are pictures and pictures and pictures of children and children and children all waiting for their forever family.  And it seems almost…like looking for your next puppy.  And on one hand really, I’m saddened by it. The stark hit you right in between the eyes thought that all of these children need a place to call home.  And then, I’m grateful, that I have an opportunity to look at these children and in some cases see their Wednesday Child videos, see the sparkle in their eyes, see the interaction with their siblings and get to know them even if it’s through the eyes of a camera.

So while we work through our process, we’ll continue to look at the resources that are available to us, the websites and heart galleries…and you know what?  This, well, I wouldn’t really call it a “guilty” pleasure, but it’s a pleasure too.

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Speak to Me…

Posted on January 25, 2015 by lizzyc1973

I wanted to share something that really does Speak To Me. If you know me, maybe you know this, and if you don’t, now you will, and if you don’t know me, well you get to learn something new about me today.  I am a huge OAR fan.  OAR or Of A Revolution is a band from Rockville, Maryland and they are my favorite band, seriously, my favorite.  Now there are people who I’d argue are “bigger” fans the kind that travel to see them.  Not that I wouldn’t travel to see them perform, but that isn’t a particular priority in my life.  That said, when the band makes the annual trip to Red Rocks, I’m there.

So last year, OAR put together a new album and my husband actually bought me the record.  I love love love it.  But of all of the songs on this record of mine there is one song that really has been speaking to me lately and I like to share it with well everyone.  But, since you’re the person that is reading me at the moment.  How about I share it with you?  The song is called The Element.  And here’s what I love about it.  For me it’s about taking on your life, about being a player and active participant in whatever it is that you’re about rather than letting the world just pass you by. Of course, I think I am one of those ridiculously optimistic thinkers but can’t help but to wonder… what if everyone chose to live their life. JUST. THIS. WAY?
Bloggers note and just one opinion…the chorus is ON. THE. MONEY.

“The Element”
Yeah, I’m in the element
Who’s to say it’ll get much better
Yeah, when you’ve got everything
Who’s to say it’ll last forever
I’m on the beach, sun in my hands
Rays on the waves dancings like diamonds
Looking for peace here in the sand
Sounds of the world suddenly silent
Streetlights are on again
Don’t think I wanna come back in
I need to stay right where I stand
And wait for the sky to bend
Yeah, I’m in the element
Who’s to say it’ll get much better
Yeah, when you’ve got everything
Who’s to say it’ll last forever
I need to live this
Not be a witness
Yeah, I’m in the element
Oh, I’m in the element
I’m on the scene sailing away
Chasing the light on the horizon
I can’t believe everyone stayed
Now I’m alone far from the island
This time I won’t forget
Lighthouse can’t call me in
I’d rather stay out on the waves
And wait for the swell to end
And it’s in my hands again
Yeah, I’m in the element
Who’s to say it’ll get much better
Yeah, when you’ve got everything
Who’s to say it’ll last forever
I need to live this
Not be a witness
Yeah, I’m in the element
Oh, I’m in the element
I’m unaware, don’t know when I’ll be here again
I’m a wanderer, it’s my only road
Won’t go home ’til I own what I came here for
I came here for
Yeah, make me feel like my life ain’t over
Yeah, make me feel like I’m getting closer
Yeah, I’m in the element
Who’s to say it’ll get much better
Yeah, When you’ve got everything
Who’s to say it’ll last forever
I need to live this
Not be a witness
Yeah, I’m in the element
Oh, I’m in the element
I need to live this
Not be a witness
Yeah, I’m in the element
Oh, I’m in the element

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Perspective check…

Posted on January 23, 2015 by lizzyc1973

Tonight was Flexible Family night. I was excited, there were so many families in our information meeting.  It’s exciting to know there are other people similar to us, different than us all considering adoption. Tonight, I got a little Perspective Check. So in flexible family adoption, we’ve discussed that any child that is removed from their biological home is defined as “special needs.”  We also know that 7 to 8 years old can be “too old.” We’ve learned that being a part of a sibling set that wants to remain in tact can be a hindrance.  And here’s something I really had never considered, something that really is pretty simple, should be obvious and had never had crossed my mind until today.

Given the choice… These children, the ones that are waiting for these forever families, many of them, maybe most of them would given the choice, prefer to be with their biological families. 130516105242-coin-flip-file-story-top So why didn’t I consider this?  I think it’s because I am so wrapped up in the excitement of our family growing of taking on something that my heart’s been called to do that I didn’t stop to consider that there is another side to this coin.  There is the side that belongs to the children that are yet to be ours.  And my heart hurts for them, because I simply can’t imagine the pain of knowing the rights of their parents are terminated — that someone decided their mom and dad aren’t the right people to be their mom and dad.  And then there is the logical brain that wonders… how can these children desire so much long so much to be with people who are capable to bring such pain?  Sometimes it’s pain that is deliberate, sometimes it’s circumstantial….and sometimes, well, sometimes it’s just life.  Today, I really considered  there is another side to the adoption coin — the side that belongs to our children.  I hope they know that Eric and I will do our very best to understand their side of our coin…

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